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Some babbling after a few midnight conversations with mothertopia
Some old things (2006). Letter to My Mother and Letter to My Daugher, from Alternet. For whatever reason, whenever I read about the mommy wars and the mother-daughter rift in feminism I more often find myself sympathizing with the mom/second wave even though I've had original thoughts that definitely are more in line with third wave influence (which I guess is to say I'm a post-structuralist). I wonder why that is.
But I also think that a lot of supposed differences are "mere" dialoging problems, like:
We want to fight the good fight, but we want to make sweet love too. We want our partners -- girl, boy or something radically in between -- beside us. We want boys to be less buttoned-up and more down for parenting and dancing to stupid '80s music in public; if they pay for dinner, unlike Maureen Dowd's hyperbolic claims, it doesn't mean we are riddled with '50s-era nostalgia. We just don't take some things as seriously as you do.
vs
Men and women are different in ways crucial to the way that businesses are run and social infrastructure is put into place. I think women will govern in a more collaborative way and take the effects of their decisions on women and children more into account than men do presently. Perhaps when men have had years of experience with hands-on parenting, more permission to experience their own feelings and a chance to expand their focus beyond the quickest way to get up the corporate ladder, then I'll revise my assessment, and these differences won't exist in quite the same way if they exist at all.
? Not actually incompatible. Obviously.
I'll admit that sometimes I think third wave indignation is more just the need for a rebel to have a cause, young people are like that, non? But mostly I think it's just that when messages spread it's hard to be both portable and precise all at once, and so inevitably not all messages can get out at the same time. That's probably one thing waves are good for, you can have pioneers and then settlers and then developers etc etc. I still get a little turned off by the element of third wave feminism that seeks to distance itself from second wave feminism. Not all of what the second wave said is irrelevant, not for everyone, and it feels sometimes like those who have progressed further get impatient because they have the luxury to.
And sometimes it feels unfair for a third wave feminist to blame a second wave feminist for being so serious. It was a tougher fight then, and it just ... always feels really unfair to me to blame people for getting angry at things they really have every right to be angry about, just because it's not as fun. Not that I think that that is all the third wave is about or that all third wavers have think that way. Just, yeah. Sometimes. Annoyed.
Blah blah blah. Why am I so old.
How my mother's fanatical views tore us apart
Yo Mamma" Hillary Clinton as the battleground in the war between mothers and daughters
NPR: Feminist Mother, Daughter Reconcile their Past
More Than a Mother-Daughter Debate
Mothertopia: "The ones who betray women the most are other women."
Girl on girl crime is ever so endlessly ironic.
But I also think that a lot of supposed differences are "mere" dialoging problems, like:
We want to fight the good fight, but we want to make sweet love too. We want our partners -- girl, boy or something radically in between -- beside us. We want boys to be less buttoned-up and more down for parenting and dancing to stupid '80s music in public; if they pay for dinner, unlike Maureen Dowd's hyperbolic claims, it doesn't mean we are riddled with '50s-era nostalgia. We just don't take some things as seriously as you do.
vs
Men and women are different in ways crucial to the way that businesses are run and social infrastructure is put into place. I think women will govern in a more collaborative way and take the effects of their decisions on women and children more into account than men do presently. Perhaps when men have had years of experience with hands-on parenting, more permission to experience their own feelings and a chance to expand their focus beyond the quickest way to get up the corporate ladder, then I'll revise my assessment, and these differences won't exist in quite the same way if they exist at all.
? Not actually incompatible. Obviously.
I'll admit that sometimes I think third wave indignation is more just the need for a rebel to have a cause, young people are like that, non? But mostly I think it's just that when messages spread it's hard to be both portable and precise all at once, and so inevitably not all messages can get out at the same time. That's probably one thing waves are good for, you can have pioneers and then settlers and then developers etc etc. I still get a little turned off by the element of third wave feminism that seeks to distance itself from second wave feminism. Not all of what the second wave said is irrelevant, not for everyone, and it feels sometimes like those who have progressed further get impatient because they have the luxury to.
And sometimes it feels unfair for a third wave feminist to blame a second wave feminist for being so serious. It was a tougher fight then, and it just ... always feels really unfair to me to blame people for getting angry at things they really have every right to be angry about, just because it's not as fun. Not that I think that that is all the third wave is about or that all third wavers have think that way. Just, yeah. Sometimes. Annoyed.
Blah blah blah. Why am I so old.
How my mother's fanatical views tore us apart
Yo Mamma" Hillary Clinton as the battleground in the war between mothers and daughters
NPR: Feminist Mother, Daughter Reconcile their Past
More Than a Mother-Daughter Debate
Mothertopia: "The ones who betray women the most are other women."
Girl on girl crime is ever so endlessly ironic.
no subject
I think my main frustration with the 3rd wave is that I'm a cynic. So I when I look at 3rd wavers, I can't help suspecting that their fundamental motivation is to show everyone how non-threatening and cool and hip and fun and they are. They're not man-hating killjoys, no sir! *eyeroll*
no subject
But it's also irresponsible to let it balloon. It's a weird way to say it but I kind of want to say, admitting this is overly simplistic, that if you're going to be a social movement you have the responsibility to be rigorous. It's saying "We can only define ourselves by defining against something else" and I don't really like that. I suppose if there was a greater time period between movements then it wouldn't come off this way. Still, I kind of feel feminism shouldn't be about trends which is what I often feel when I'm immersed in third wave-ism, it's so trendy.
It's probably not fair entirely, but I know there are specific things I dislike. Especially "Y So Srs!" *ugh*