From: [identity profile] redcandle17.livejournal.com


I think it's confined to young women. I would think - or at least I hope - that they grow up and realize that what others think of you does have an impact on your life and the way you're treated.
ext_32363: "Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own" (Hufflepuff)"Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own (Default)

From: [identity profile] misstopia.livejournal.com


If you don't stand up for yourself, people are going to start assuming you're not someone worth standing up for.

From: [identity profile] violaswamp.livejournal.com


Exactly.

I have gotten very, very tired of the "good sport" kind of woman who titters and giggles and says she's not offended when guys insult her to her face.
ext_32363: "Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own" (Hufflepuff)"Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own (Default)

From: [identity profile] misstopia.livejournal.com


I've gotten very tired of the idea that this is how it *should* be. If a woman is simply fatigued by constantly fighting, okay I can have sympathy for that. But insinuating that you're cooler because you're so chillax about it is problematic, even if it's a trivial situation it enables the attitude in situations that are more serious.

It's not hard to imagine that often enough that "good sport" woman just wants to be accepted by the boys. Everyone wants to be accepted, but I'll take respected too plz kthx.

From: [identity profile] violaswamp.livejournal.com


Yeah, and it's really tough to balance, because on the one hand you don't want to be a joyless unpleasant prig and on the other you don't want to be colluding in your own debasement. It's like walking a tightrope, and I can't say I haven't fallen off a few times, in both directions. *sigh*
ext_32363: "Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own" (Hufflepuff)"Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own (Default)

From: [identity profile] misstopia.livejournal.com


It's 'cause this stuff is so pervasive that if you're hardlined about it you end up not enjoying much of anything. But yeah I don't begrudge anyone a genuine struggle, quite the opposite actually.


From: [identity profile] violaswamp.livejournal.com


Almost over, just one left and I have a few days before it so I took a bit of a breather today...it's back to the salt mines tomorrow, alas.
ext_32363: "Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own" (Hufflepuff)"Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own (Default)

From: [identity profile] misstopia.livejournal.com


Blah, grossness. Oh good luck, other than the fact that your life is going somewhere I don't envy you :P
ext_32363: "Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own" (Hufflepuff)"Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own (Default)

From: [identity profile] misstopia.livejournal.com


Of course, on a bigger scale, I can understand the idea of picking your battles ... but that's a different idea.

From: [identity profile] maruutsu.livejournal.com


I see it as the only way they have to deal with misogyny. They clearly *know* they are being treated unequally and disrespectfully, because otherwise how would they claim to not care about something unless they don't know what that something is? (Did that make any sense?)

I bet it has to do with the negative portrayal of feminism and feminists in the media. Nobody wants to be rejected, especially when you're young and craving male attention.

Personally, I am young and have never done that, but *I* was raised by a feminist doctor, so women were as powerful and as respected as men in my world. Maybe the women who claim not to care about being respected just weren't raised to believe they deserve that respect.
ext_32363: "Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own" (Hufflepuff)"Be it ever so humble, there's no opinion like my own (Default)

From: [identity profile] misstopia.livejournal.com


Yes, it definitely has to do with the negative portrayal of feminism, and I do understand what you're saying about rejection, it's just that that can be countered, so why aren't people countering it? That would be my stance on that. It actually isn't the only way to deal with misogyny, after all, it's just seen as the least difficult and least uncool, but like you suggest the idea of self respect needs to be prioritized.

I do understand why people are like that, but I think it's still best to stand against it in the long run, for everyone. It's very much an uphill battle, at least here where I am.

They clearly *know* they are being treated unequally and disrespectfully, because otherwise how would they claim to not care about something unless they don't know what that something is?
I think that a lot of people kinda know and kinda don't. They know that there's an image they have to avoid if they want to be seen as cool, so they know that that option is out there, but I don't think people realize the implications when they try to distance themselves from that image.
.